Illyria, God-King of Shut Your Face

Exit, Stage Left
In Your Face, Cyvus Vail
In Your Face, Reality (and Cyvus Vail)

Illyria was not, per se, sleeping in, since she hadn't bothered going to sleep after last night's radio fiasco. She had instead spent the dark hours of the morning slicing at imaginary opponents in the preserve with her newly-returned sword, before she had to once again stow it in the weapons locker.

Now, after returning to an empty room, she was staring at Sam Winchester's empty bed and... not sulking. At all. The phrase you were looking for was meditation.

Until the banging on the door began.

[For the OMGWTF you're not breakfast, are you. Sam and Peter's boomshakalaka elsewhere modded with permission.]

The rather disturbing thing about this weekend was that Illyria had attempted to be ...kind to Wesley on some level, and only forced her company on him in small doses, with plenty of time for retreating to sit in the dark and further destroy his metabolism. So it was only now that she was finally showing him her living quarters. Such as they were.

"This is where I don't sleep."

[OOC: For the Watcher and the Hunter]

Dear Wesley:

You claim that these reports will help you see what I have learned, though I suspect you merely wish to verify that I've killed no humans yet. Nonetheless, here it is.

Something called a shuttle bus transported me to the school. I prefer simply ripping a hole between dimensions. On the journey, I had intercourse with a teacher (possibly tolerable), a loud girl (possibly mad), a boy who wished to make offerings of beef to me (possibly dirty of limited mental capacity), a potential acolyte (possibly colorblind), a smoker (possibly doomed to an early death - not at my hands) and the incarnation of Death (clearly mad, as she claims to enjoy being mortal).

Upon reaching the island, my blades were taken from me. This is unacceptable. Elder beings do not 'check' their weapons. After this ignominious procedure, I also had intercourse with a small girl who is supposedly my sibling and a large boy who is to live in a box with me. And his dog.

I did not have intercourse with the dog. I was simply told of it.

I didn't kill any of them.

Even the dog.

Are you pleased?

-Illyria, God-King of the Primordium, Shaker of Worlds, Scourge of the Deep, Death by a Thousand Tentacles

***

To: [email protected]
From: wwp@wolfram&hart.com

You may wish to substitute the word 'conversation' for 'inter----- Well done. Carry on.

-W.

[NFI, OOC, etc, Acronyms R Us.]

( Los Angeles: a month ago )

( Los Angeles: a week ago )

+++
[OOC: NFI yadda yadda fishcakes, OOC yadda yadda smileyface. Warning: embedded video, cloying folk music, character death, gratuitous use of someone else's songvid as a plot re-cap, overly poetic narrative. Large portions of dialogue taken from Angel 5x19, Time Bomb.]

Bleat at me if you must.